Senior Year. Yeah that’s totally a thing I’m handling well.

Sarcasm aside, I actually feel like I’m handling dealing with the harsh truths and challenges that come with being the highest one on the totem pole. (At first I was inclined to say the biggest fish in the pond and then I remembered I’m quite tiny and would not fulfill that mental image in the slightest…) But seriously, all these challenges I’m taking in stride because my God do I love a good challenge.

Classes could be so much worse. I mean that sentence is probably going to burn the hell out of me in the next three weeks when everything is said and done, but I relish in those moments. A challenge like dealing with this just shows what people are made of and I believe there’s always room for person improvement. Honestly I felt the most stress when i was trying to figure out what classes I have to take next semester. Picking out those classes was absolutely a struggle because technically I only needed three of them to graduate but had room for like 6.

So instead of just trying to coast, my inner idiot triumphed and decided HEY PICK UP A MINOR BECAUSE YOU COULD TOTALLY DO THE THING. (Which surprisingly was not as difficult as anticipated and now I only need like two classes and I can get the minor) and I know what some of you may be thinking: “If you’re stressed NOW, why didn’t you just try to make next semester as easy as possible for you?” But that’s the thing, I’ve never been the type to want to take things easy. I like living on a schedule with deadlines and priorities screaming at me at any point in the day. Also that would just be a disservice to the upcoming terrifying future that awaits me.

After May of next year, what on Earth is going to be as easy as that semester can be? Forget the whole dealing with trying to find a significant other, the stress of paying for housing, taxes and having a job will be a whole new level of stress I can’t even fathom. Granted, I have no idea what the future has in store for me BUT I do know that I have the ability to best prepare myself for those situations after I cross the stage with diploma in shaky hand.

To be honest, the most stressful thing I’ve experienced in this entire semester was prepping for the future. The GRE is still the most terrifyingly aggravating thing I’ve ever experienced (and I’ve driven through Manhattan during rush hour) and I have absolutely no confidence in taking it. I took it once over the summer and will be taking it again in the next few weeks. It’s got me all sorts of frazzled because I absolutely LOATHE standardized testing because I just don’t do well on them ever. TerraNovas, TACHS, Regents, SATs. All of those types of exams, I just never did well.  And now that I’m certain that I don’t want to pursue Public Relations for Graduate School, I’m even more stressed.

Yeah, I’m changing it to Journalism because I’m still passionate about it and I’d like to think I’m half decent at it even when I’m not running at 100%. But I’m still scared to go into this whole process and have all these abilities and skills ignored just because I can’t take a standardized test. The entire idea of the GRE just spikes my anxiety levels to some ungodly high and I’m just so over the fact that my future depends on a stupidly long exam. I should probably be more stressed about other things going on, like my clubs or the India trip but the GRE has me drained and anxious and I hate it.

Here’s to hoping I handle the rest of the semester well and that I only cry like once when it comes to thinking about my future.