When it comes to remembering much of anything I have the absolute worst of struggles. It’s like anytime I need to recall anything of the slightest importance, I was hit by one of Lockhart’s memory charms and can’t even remember what I was doing the day before. But do I need that mortifying memory from 7th grade or that one time at the big basketball game? Apparently those details are clear as day. The point is – I am a very forgetful goofball and I have so much anger towards my inability to remember much.

A better memory would be so CLUTCH when it comes to studying for literally anything or having an amazing comeback when someone tries to burn me. But in all honesty, I just want a better memory to remember everyone who has helped me get this far.

There’s always those moments when you’re young that you promise people to never forget them because they just mean that much to you at that point in time. Those moments are waaay too abundant because I know I said those words to so many people and I’m barely able to remember half of those individuals who I said this to. I get that it’s a part of life and all, but it just really blows.

I always find myself wondering if there are some people who I may have gotten close to in the past and just am no longer close to that remember me every once in a while. I always wonder that because I look back at my old writing and social media and realize how bad of a person I used to be towards my friends. I used to be a very toxic and confused kid and I could have been so much better to people and they all deserved better than the nonsense I put them through.

Perhaps it’s good that I can’t remember in full detail how much of a douchebag I was when I was younger. I already beat myself up for how I used to be so much. But it wouldn’t hurt to have something like a Pensieve to get a look at those memories as they happened. To see if it was as embarrassing as it was. To get another look at where it all went wrong. To even get one more look at someone before I lost them.

Part of the reason why I love my tattoos is because they each have some sort of major meaning to it. I have a few memories associated with each tattoo and it helps me constantly remember those important parts of my life (one is the exception that I could never really forget but you get the picture.)

If you’re someone who I used to talk to a lot but then time and life got in the way and you’re reading this, feel free to shoot me a message. There’s a 95% chance I’m wondering how you’re doing and in all honesty I just would love to hear that you’re okay with wherever your life has taken you.

All I know is that memories are one hell of a thing. Sometimes they push us closer to our goals while at the same time holding us back from where we could be going. I just wish I could forget about all the bittersweet memories that are stumbling around my head and keeping me from enjoying the moment. Also, it’d be super useful for studying if I could see those classes again, not gonna lie. But all I’ve got are these pieces of memories that I’m going to try to make sense of until the next big thing distracts me from the mosaic that is filling my mind.