For the first time in my life, I’m just entirely too purely happy to even go to sleep. A contrast to last night’s mood no doubt, but just as much as a part of life. It’s honestly funny how one little thing can make all the difference in a person’s life.

It’s a simple Monday. Or at least it was. Sunday was rough and Monday seemed to be the breath of fresh air I had been looking for. It was calm, it was familiar. Going to church on Sunday night with my group helped immensely and I had just tried to take everything as it came. Managed a news story, had a few donuts, told a couple of bad jokes, watched a kid drop his ID in no man’s land. It was nothing too unusual.

I had returned from my break around 850. As I stood by the register before heading to the dish room to probably end up looking like a wet dog, I saw that my friend had gotten an email notification. Now my email account doesn’t automatically update as much as it used to. I saw that the email sender was a general one to all students so I hit refresh.

Scrolled down and found myself swiping right to delete emails that I didn’t need. Skimmed through the one addressed to the seniors when I saw it. I saw one email from BU college of communications with some kind of letter addressing me. But right under that was an earlier email from 505pm. All it said was congratulations. There was a bunch of random numbers so I thought it might have been a mistyped message that I couldn’t ignore. So I clicked it.

I loaded up the dishes and began to read past the ID number.

I am pleased to inform you that you have been accepted as a candidate for the degree of Master of Science in Journalism in the College of Communication (COM) at Boston University.

And I honestly froze. I kept rereading that paragraph over and over. It didn’t seem real. Heck, it still doesn’t. My immediate reaction? Find my best friend.

I literally screamed “NICHOLAS” and bolted from the dish room to find my best friend. I looked insane. I almost ran over a few people in my pursuit of Nick. But when I threw open the door, told him, waited for him to process everything and ended up in a bear hug is when I knew I was definitely okay.

Soon after I called immediate family and don’t even care if not everyone was as excited as me. I missed out on this when I got accepted into Kings. I wasn’t excited having to dig through the snail mail just to get my hands on that red envelope that changed my entire life. It was just a thing that I couldn’t really appreciate.

I know how difficult this part of my life is. I’ve been struggling to get through every day just like anyone else. The future was so unsure. Sure I put a wish out into the universe that Boston University would accept me. Sure that same evening I was jokingly telling my best friend he needed to get into his number one just in case I do end up in Boston. It just honestly doesn’t seem real.

This is something completely new to my family and my life. I knew my friends were figuring out their lives a little bit before they crossed the stage at graduation. I even knew some people needed to get through the intensity of interviewing just for a chance. It baffles my mind that they actually want me. They got back to me within weeks of me sending out my application and I’ve got a chance to really send my future in a decent direction.

I care about what I do. My time at Kings helped me understand that even more. I’m even honest on doing these posts because if I’m not honest with telling my own story, what right do I have telling anyone else’s? I have always been afraid (70% is just pure anxiety tbh) of not being good enough. I spent years being taught that the lowest grade among good grades was the only one that mattered. I never thought I was smart enough or talented enough but I always knew I had enough heart and drive. I never realized that having the latter would help me reach the full potential to unlock the former.

I’m so happy I can barely sleep. It’s the fact that I left this all up to fate and the universe to decide that has me so happy. I did everything I could and hoped for the best. For this time, I’ve been given a shot. It won’t solve anything but that’s where being who I am comes into play. All I’ve ever wanted was a shot to prove that I’m somebody and to chase my dream. Now that it’s actually possible, reality seems like a dream I wouldn’t dare think of. I can’t believe this.

I’m somebody. I’m significant. I have a chance. Thank god.