“What do you want to be when you grow up?”

It’s a simple, common yet occasionally annoying anyone might remember hearing constantly as they grow up.

It’d be easy enough to tell you that I’ve always known I wanted to grow up and be a writer. But for the longest time, all I wanted when I grew up was to be happy. While happiness might be a tad difficult to define, I never understood how many more moments I would get to define it after coming out.

A year ago today, I was frantically texting my friends and freaking out more than ever. I called my now best friend asking for advice, I was just trying my best not to cry. I wasn’t scared about the fact that I walked out of my usual hair salon with a significantly less amount of hair covering my head. I was scared because I wanted to be honest with myself.

I didn’t want to pretend that my sexuality was a dirty secret. I didn’t want to pretend that I was happy with how I looked. I didn’t want to pretend that the person everyone was seeing was the person I wanted to see in the mirror everyday. I just wanted to set myself up on a path that made me happiest with who I am.

I’ve written here before and I’ve discussed at length what it was like coming out. It was the most terrifying decision in my entire life. Because I didn’t owe it to anyone except myself to do this, and yet the uncertainty that comes with coming out still makes my blood run colder than the waters in Antarctica. It terrified me because all I wanted was to be happy and not hide away who I am, but one negative reaction and I could have lost everything.

Sure I had already come out to my siblings, but coming out to my mom as well as the rest of the world wasn’t exactly a walk through the meadow. I’ll always thank my lucky stars for the fact that the members of my family that I came out to were accepting, but it still makes my heart hurt to know that there are some people who didn’t have such an experience.

But this post isn’t about that. This post is about how thankful I am for the adventure I’ve had since coming out.

I wish my life got easier after I stumbled out of the closet, but it wasn’t. Remember when that douchebag on campus called me a fag? Horrible times.

But the best part of all the ups and downs is that I never felt alone again. Once I heard someone else say jokingly that LGBT people tend to flock together and I’ve learned WOW that’s pretty accurate! Some people had similar experiences, but no two stories are ever the same. I appreciate all the people who I’ve met and befriended. Some of them might be hours away from me or even in different parts of the world, but I know that the support is there because no matter the distance, we try our best to understand and be there for each other.

I’ve said it again and again, being a fan of that little webseries changed my life. That’s where most of my support is honestly. Who knew a centuries old novella based on a vampire older than Dracula would have such a profound impact on my life? It helped me realize I had a lot more to learn about myself and it started with being honest with understanding that there was more to who I was.

I may not be Honest Abe, but I appreciate the beauty behind true honesty. It takes so much work for a lie, and the truth is what moves us forward. Ever since I stopped lying to myself and being more unashamed of who I was, I found more happiness that I could ever have imagined. My journey is far from over, but I’m excited to see what adventure lies ahead.

It’s been a year so what you need to understand is I’m still here, I’m still queer, and I won’t ask you to like it, I will demand you respect it.